To forgive one’s enemy, to pray for the person that has done you harm, to will good towards a person who has mortally wounded you or a loved one, is without a doubt one of the most difficult actions in the world. Indeed it cannot be done by our weak human efforts. God has to intervene with His amazing grace! The following essay is designed to help us to come to terms with forgiving others. All our life people will be hurting us and we will be hurting others. There are two options: a decision to hold back forgiveness or a firm decision in the will to forgive. If we are true disciples of Jesus we must choose the path of forgiveness in imitation of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, by doing so we will experience true freedom and we will be setting the captive free!
1.
BEG FOR THE GRACE. To practice chastity, to live out humility,
as well as to forgive those who hurt us and even our enemies we need supernatural
graces that comes from constant, humble, and persevering prayer. Saint Augustine expresses it with a graphic
image: “All of us are all beggars before
God.” This means that we desperately
need His help and grace to avoid sin, to live a life of holiness and to forgive
from the heart those who have hurt us deeply.
“Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door
will be open.” (Mt 7:7). Why not knock
insistently and confidently at the door of God’s Heart begging for the grace to
forgive.
2.
RECEIVE MERCY. If we are to receive mercy from God, then we
must be merciful to others. It is a two-way street! Jesus expresses this truth unequivocally: “Be merciful as your heavenly Father is
merciful.” This is a command, an
imperative! The most famous prayer in
the entire world prayed by Catholics, Orthodox, and all Main-line Christian
religions is the “Our Father”—also known as the “Lord’s prayer”. It is easy to be a selective reader, listener
or even “Prayer-warrior”--- meaning like “Cafeteria Catholicism” we can pick
and choose what appeals most to our spiritual taste-buds. In the Our Father, we might choose to catapult
over “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us… This is called “Selective” praying: choosing
and selecting the part of the prayer that most appeals to me! No way! Can’t be done! If I want God’s forgiveness I
must extend my forgiveness to others. A
priest once preached on the Our Father and said, “If you are unwilling to
forgive your brother, then do not pray the “Our Father”--- meaning, you are
only playing lip-service, but do not mean it from your heart.
3.
RECEIVE THE EUCHARIST: THE OFFERING
OF YOUR GIFT. Our sanctification passes
through Jesus Christ, “The Holy Of Holies”.
He said that He would be with us always even until the end of the world.
Where then is Jesus, if He ascended and is seated at the right hand of the
Father in glory? In the Church and
especially in the Sacraments. However the grace of the Sacrament is receive in
proportion to the disposition of the individual--- in theology called “The
Dispositive grace”. Jesus paints a
scenario. If you are coming to offer
your gift at the altar and know that someone has something against you, then
leave your gift at the altar, be reconciled to your brother and then return to
offer your gift. INTERPRETATION! If you
are at Holy Mass and remember that someone has something against you, then
leave the Church to first make peace with this person and then return to offer
the gift. It is interesting that Jesus does not even specify who is at
fault! In other words, we should not
receive Holy Communion, the Sacrament of Christ’s love, if we are fostering
resentment against anybody in our heart.
We will be crucifying the Lord again!
4.
FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY/ DO NOT LET THE
SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER! An essential
point in winning the battle to forgive is to forgive right away. The Bible says that we should never let the
sun go down on our anger. Why? The
reason is clear! The more we put off,
delay, procrastinate in forgiving, the harder it becomes to forgive. In time the devil fans the flames of past
hurts exacerbating the hurt and turning the mole hill into the mountain. Shakespeare expressed it well: “To err is human but to forgive is divine.” Why not imitate God and forgive like
lightning! Why not strive to imitate
God! The Psalmist describes God as being
slow to anger and quick to forgive. Our nature is to be quick to anger and slow
to forgive. But we must imitate our Lord and Savior!
5.
CONTEMPLATE THE PASSION OF JESUS AND
HIS FIRST WORD FROM THE CROSS. After
Jesus was scourged at the pillar, crowned with sharp thorns, smacked, punched
and spat upon, and then nailed to the cross between two thieves, as He hung
upon the cross in bitter agony, His first words from the cross were: “
FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT
WHAT THEY ARE DOING!”. If it seems exceedingly difficult to forgive,
then we should contemplate Jesus as He hangs on the cross and His words of
forgiveness. Why not kneel before the
crucified Lord and repeat “Father forgive x name of the person that hurt you_______________________
for he knows not what he is doing…
Repeat the prayer several times.
This prayer before Jesus crucified can melt the icy resentment in the
hardest of hearts.
6.
RECALL YOUR OWN SINS BEFORE THE LORD’S
MERCY! Another helpful and efficacious device
might be to recall your own many sins as well as the gravity of them. (Recall
especially your most serious or embarrassing sin). Then remember that Jesus forgave you all of
those sins, immediately and many times over and Jesus forgave in a heartbeat.
Now compare Jesus’ forgiveness of your sins to your lack of forgiveness and
your unwillingness to forgive something of much lesser gravity!
7.
DAMAGES OF LACK OF FORGIVENESS. Not forgiving
leads to anger and anger to resentment, and resentment to bitterness, and then
to hatred. If not physically like Cain killing Abel, we are killing the person
in our heart! The poisonous effects are almost countless! Physically this can
cause ulcers, insomnia and many sleepless nights, fears and insecurities,
sadness that eventually leads to depression and then chronic depression and
then medication for these ills. This
state of soul will overflow in other family and social relationships. The fixed
idea of anger against this person can cause distractions and lack of efficient
work and even the loss of one’s job.
Worse yet, the lack of forgiveness jeopardizes one’s relationship with
God. Jesus in very clear terms said: “Whatsoever
you do to the least of my brothers that you do to me....’ and “Love one another
as I have loved you…” We read in the
letters of St. John: “How can anybody say he loves God who he does not see if
he hates his brother who he does see?”
In other words lack of forgiveness can wreak havoc on a physical,
psychological, emotional, social, moral and spiritual level. In other words, it
is slow suicide in the person!
8.
PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMY! If you cannot approach the person
physically, then at least pray for the person that has hurt you. By doing this
you are already on the right path. Deep
wounds take a while to heal. Prayer is the first medicine to take to heal the
wounds. Jesus said that it is easy to
pray for those who like us even the pagans do that. Pray for your enemies.
9.
SAINTS AND FORGIVENESS. We all need models to look at, to admire and
to emulate. As Christian-Catholics, of course Jesus is first. He is the Way,
the Truth, and the Life. In addition to
contemplating the life of Jesus we should get to know the saints and their
heroic practice of virtue and most specifically how they battled with and overcame
temptations to seek out revenge. It was not always easy! A few saints that come to mind with respect
to forgiveness are the following: St. Stephen, St. Maria Gorreti, St. Josefina
Bakhita, Blessed Pope John Paul II, Blessed Miguel Pro, S.J,. Many of the
martyrs, as they died, prayed for and forgave there persecutors! Let
the powerful example of the saints spur you on to victory over your pride and
resentment which has enslaved you in an attitude of unforgiveness!
10. MEDITATE ON THE FOUR
LAST THINGS. Always of perennial value
is the sober but efficacious meditation on the four Last things: Death,
Judgment, Heaven, and Hell. Now how
would you like to be laying on your deathbed clinging tenaciously to anger,
resentment and hatred towards somebody? On further step, you have died in that
state! We do not know when the Lord will call us???? Immediately you are brought
before the Judgment seat of God, before Jesus the Lord. Dying in that state and having to present
yourself before the Judge of the universe and the judge of all of your actions,
thoughts, desires, intentions, attitudes and dispositions of heart. What might
be your fate for all eternity? Remember
the words of the Spanish mystic Saint John of the Cross: “In the twilight of our existence, we will be
judged on love.”
FINAL REFELCTION: OUR LADY OF
MERCY. Aside from Jesus, never was there
anybody who came close to suffering as much as Our Lady. She stood those long
hours underneath the cross when all the hatred of the world was lashed out
against her beloved Son. Not for an instant did Mary give in to anger or
resentment against those who mercilessly killed her Son. On the contrary, she
prayed for them all the more fervently. Turn to Mary in your dark and difficult
moments and she will attain for you the power to forgive those who have hurt
you so that God will forgive you and one day receive you into heaven.
No comments:
Post a Comment