In the 60’s the Beatles composed a
song and an album: “Sergeant Pepper’s lonely heart-club band.” World-famous for this song and album, the
Beatles were placing their finger on the pulse of the modern society, a society
with many individuals suffering from a crushing and almost unsupportable loneliness.
There are many ways that individuals
cope with loneliness; some are excellent, others are good to a certain extent,
others are bad and still others are deadly.
A crushing loneliness can grip an individual in such a way that
depression sets in and he/she feels life has no real meaning and questions why
even live. Some have recourse to suicide.
Others do not go so far as to commit
physical suicide, but they do have recourse to a slow form of damaging their
lives; you might even call it gradual suicide! These are the individuals that
seek and escape from the crushing weight of loneliness by having recourse to
vices; these escapes that we call vices are many; we will mention a few. Drugs,
gambling, drinking to excess, overeating, the use of pornography as well as the
use of sexuality outside the context of sacramental and marital commitment. At
times individuals have recourse to more than one of these vices as an escape
from their crushing loneliness. The more dense and crushing the loneliness the
more they cling to one or more of these vices!
This being said, what are wholesome
ways that we can cope with loneliness in our lives and maybe we can teach
others proper and correct ways to deal with this modern, prevalent reality.
For believers what will be explained
will not be a huge surprise! The key to coping with a heavy and crushing
loneliness can be summarized in one simple word: GOD!!!
1.
GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE. The word “omnipresence” means in the most
simple of terms: God is everywhere! No matter where we go, God is present to
us. Indeed we can block God out of our
lives, forget Him, be oblivious to His presence, or like an atheist deny that
He even exists. Still this does not deny the fact that God exists. I can say a wall in front of my face is not
present, but if I walk into it I will bruise my face or worse yet even get a
concussion. St. Paul quoting a Greek
poet encapsulates this concept with these words: “In Him
we live and move and have our being.” The Psalmist expresses God’s omnipresence with
utmost clarity and precision: “Where can
I hide from your spirit? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there. If I lie
down in Sheol, you are there too. If I fly with the wings of dawn and alight
beyond the sea even there your hand will guide me, your right hand hold me fast.
If I say, “surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light. Darkness
is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but
one.”(Psalm 139: 7-12)
2.
DIVINE INDWELLING THROUGH GRACE. One of the hallmarks of Carmelite
spirituality is that of the indwelling of the Blessed Trinity in our soul
through sanctifying grace. If we conserve grace within our soul by avoiding mortal
sin then not only are we surrounded by God (His Omnipresence), but He is truly
present in the very depths of our soul. If we like we can talk to this Triune
God—the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as often as we like and as long as we
like. How great is our God!
3.
JESUS AS FRIEND. In the course of the Last Supper discourse,
Holy Thursday night, Jesus spoke very tenderly to the Apostles as well as to
us. Jesus said: “I do not call you servants because the servant does not know what the
Master is about, but I call you FRIENDS…” What a consoling truth and what
an efficacious remedy to overcome modern loneliness: to recognize, experience
and cultivate a deep and lasting FRIENDSHIP with Jesus! Engraved below a beautiful painting of the
most Sacred Heart of Jesus are written the words in Spanish: “Jesus,
el Amigo que nunca falla.”Translation: “Jesus
is the Friend that never fails us.” How true! We all fail Jesus every time we decide to
sin, but He never fails us. For that reason we read and meditate the words from
the Book of Revelation: “Behold I stand
at the door and knock. Whoever opens the door I will come in and dine with him
and him with me.”(Rev. 3:20) Indeed striving with all of the fiber of our
being to grow in friendship with Jesus can prove to be one of the most
efficacious means to cope with loneliness and if we are struggling to overcome
some vice—whatever it might be: drink, porn, drugs, despair! Beyond the shadow of a doubt, Friendship with
Jesus is the most consoling, solid, noble, satisfying, and capable of constant
growth.
4.
UNLOADING TO MY FRIEND JESUS. Years ago a wonderful moive came out in
Spanish with the title: Marcelino, Pan y vino. The essence of
this film is this orphan-boy(Marcelino) adopted by the Franciscan community
grows up with the Frailes and then Marcelino meets his best friend: Jesus as He
hangs on the cross in one of the upper rooms. The little boy immediately
strikes up a friendship with Jesus crucified. He talks to Jesus and Jesus
responds to the little boy. Constantly, on the sly, the little boy visits Jesus
and talks to Him. Not only does the little boy talk to Jesus but consoles Him
with concrete gestures. Noticing Jesus’ bones jutting out, he brings Him bread
and wine. Then he brings Jesus his blanket so that He would not suffer cold.
The little boy seeing the head crowned with piercing thorns, he climbs a ladder
to relieve Jesus of the suffering by actually taking the crown off His
head. Growing deeper and deeper in their
friendship, something has always weighed heavy on the heart of the little boy—the
absence of a loving mother. Marcelino opens his aching heart to Jesus about
being orphan to the love of a mother. Jesus responds by allowing the little boy
to see “His mother”. The movie culminates with a loud noise, the little boy
falling back (actually dying), so that he is taken up to heaven to rest in the
arms of Mary, his heavenly Mother. Therefore, a key element of coping with
loneliness, conquering loneliness is not to deny our loneliness nor to deny our
problems. If done our loneliness and problems will get worse. The key is to
talk to Jesus as well as the Blessed Virgin Mary, Our dear and loving Mother
about our loneliness and problems. Once a problem is shared with a loving heart
the problem diminishes greatly or will even disappear.
5.
JESUS: YOUR EUCHARISTIC FRIEND AND
COMPANION. One of the greatest remedies to cope with or conquer loneliness is
to establish a deep faith, confidence, and love for Jesus (your best Friend) in
the context of the Blessed Sacrament, Mass, and Holy Eucharist. Establish a
habit of visiting your Friend Jesus present in the Tabernacle in His
Eucharistic Presence. Attend daily Mass if you have the time. Receive Jesus in
Holy Communion with great love and devotion. After receiving Him in Holy
Communion spend some time after Mass; close your eyes and talk to your Friend
Jesus who is now living in the very depths of your soul. Tell Him everything that
is on your mind, in your soul, all that is present in the very depths of your
heart. This is the closest and most intimate union that can exist on earth—the union
of our heart with the Sacred Heart of Jesus present in you after Holy
Communion.
Conclusion. If we establish a deep
and dynamic Friendship with Jesus and Mary in this life that crushing
loneliness that we experience will be lifted like the sun that dissipates the
early morning clouds, or like the dew that evaporates on the morning grass.
Still more important, if Jesus is your best Friend now in time in this present
world, then when we pass from this world to the next He will be our best Friend
forever in heaven, where loneliness will no longer exist. Therefore none of us have to belong to the
Sergeant Pepper’s lonely heart-club band. Rather we belong to the Sacred Heart
of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary!
