There is a right way to do things as well as a wrong! Driving regulations, sports rules, grammar rules, cooking ingredients and recipes--- all of the above must follow certain codes or rules! If not confusion and chaos results!
The same can be said with respect to conjugal relations between husband and wife. Marital intimacy and relations are blessed only when they meet certain requirements; and they are the following!
First, the man and woman must be sacramentally married in the church. Sexuality must be blessed and sanctified by a sacrament, and that sacrament is Holy Matrimony!
Second, human sexuality is modelled on the person of Christ who gave Himself totally as a Gift to the Father as well as humanity as well as for each and every one of us individually by dying on the cross. Pope John Paul II calls it the mutual giving of each other, one to the other as a 'GIFT! The person is never to be seen as an object to be exploited and used, but rather as a person created in the image and likenessof God to be love, cherished, and respected at all times!
Third, this mutual self-giving cannot be frustrated by any use of artificial birth-control or what we call "contraception". In other words, the marital act between husband and wife must be open to the possibility of conception, new life, collaborating with the Creator in bringing new life into existence. Also called "Procreation". This term means husband and wife collaborate with God in bringing new life into existence. The husband and wife provide the material means, but God Himself infuses the soul in the moment of conception. What a marvellous fact!
This means, in concrete, that the Church does not believe in "birth-control," but rather believes in "Self-control". Couples must at times practice periodic abstinence from sexual relations if they believe that for a just cause (Pope Paul VI, Humane Vitae) it is best to postpone or delay the birth of another child.
Furthermore, the Church does not believe in "Safe-sex", or "Protection". These are euphemisms (lies) for birth-control/contraception. On the contrary, the Church has taught, teaches, and always will teach in "Sacred Sex". Why Sacred? For the simple reason that God Himself can intervene and bless the couple with a child as a result of that marital act!
Therefore, any use of contraception, according to the teachings of Humane Vitae, the Theology of the Body of Pope John Paul II is an intrinsically disordered act, morally wrong act and objectively a mortal sin! In concrete the pill, IUD, chemical injections, Norplant, and the condom, as well as an incomplete conjugal act--- all of these frustrate one of the primary purposes of human sexuality: procreation, the openness to life; saying "Yes" to God's intervention in creating a new person who will have a body and immortal soul that will live for all eternity.
Unfortunately, 50-60% of marriages today end up in divorce. But listen to this! Couples that attend Sunday Mass and receive Holy Communion, go to confession frequently, pray together as a family (especially the Holy Rosary) as well as practice Natural Family Planning--- periodic abstinence for sexual intimacy, have lower than 1% rate of divorce. The couple love each other more, there is more mutual respect, more frequent and profound dialogue, and happiness in life! Why not try it! It is a real winner!
May the Holy Family Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help us to strive to form holy, happy, healthy, families in this life so that one day heaven will be our eternal home!